Archive for the 'general' Category

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Where Would I Be?

Published on May 17, 2008 in general. 1 Comment Tags: , , .

First, I want to thank everyone for your prayers and good thoughts during my surgery and recovery.  It was not an easy experience for me.  My time in the hospital following the surgery was especially rough.  My adorable mom came and took care of me during the week following being released from the hospital.  I could not have made it without her help.

Now that I have been home for a couple weeks I realize that the physical distress felt from this surgery is no where near the emotional distress I am feeling now.

This surgery is just the beginning.  Sure, I have lost 40 pounds in 2 weeks, which is great.  What I need to do now is change my life.  I don’t want to have my life changed by the weight I lose.  I want the weight I lose to be caused by my change in lifestyle.  A lot of people assume that this surgery is a magical cure to obesity.  It is not.  I am still doing the hard work.  The surgery just makes it so it is almost impossible to cheat.

I need to surround myself with people who can encourage me, and who are as dedicated to living healthy lives as I need to be.

I have just begun this difficult journey.  The best is yet to come.

Love Me Dead

Published on April 29, 2008 in general and mushy. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

On Thursday I undergo surgery. It is a fairly common operation, however I am at high risk. I am nervous about having this procedure done, despite the fact that it will change my life forever in a positive way. Even though it is possible that gastric bypass surgery can in some cases lead to death, I am pretty certain that what I am doing now, isn’t living.

I do not feel human. I exist outside of the rest of the populace due to my size. I know full well that I did this to myself. There have been millions of choices that I have made that has led me to this point. Changing my decision making process at this point has become impossible without help. I need a drastic change. This surgery is that drastic change. Continue reading ‘Love Me Dead’

So Much to Say

Published on October 14, 2007 in general. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

I find sometimes it’s easy to be myself. Sometimes I find its better to be somebody else.

I say my hell is the closet, I’m stuck inside.
Cant see the light.
And my heaven is a nice house in the sky; got central heating and I’m alright.
Can’t see the light.
Keep it locked up inside don’t talk about it.
Talk about the weather.
Can’t see the light.
Open up my head and let me out.
Here we have been standing for a long long time.
Treading trodden trails for a long long time.

Continue reading ‘So Much to Say’