I hate mechanics. I think the bit Dane Cook talks about auto mechanics sums it up perfectly.

“It’s that same vibe that you get with any auto mechanic you’ve ever dealt with. Even though you’re listening and nodding, in your head you’re like “this guy is f*ckin’ me big time”. You just believe whatever they say:

Mechanic: “Yeah we had to replace the roof on your car, it was starting to peel back.  It resented the rest of the car, so we replaced that. Also, there was a tiny unicorn in your exhaust and he was jumping and poking holes in your exhaust, and he was sh*tting in your filters as well. So we had to get that out of there.”

Dane: “Wow, thank you very much. I did not know that there was a tiny mythological animal jumping around in there… that’s very dangerous. Sh*tting in filters, no way. Especially with a road trip coming up, that’s very dangerous. That little son of a b. How much is that? Seven thousand? I was going to suggest, I’d like to pay seven thousand’ish, I’d love to pay for that. Thank you for not f*ckin’ me big time!”

-Dane Cook

I pick my car up from the mechanic tomorrow. I admit that it was my fault. I should have been paying more attention to the road. I am glad my car handled as well as it did. If it didn’t I would have not only skid all over the road, but have hit a couple of cars a long the way. I am lucky (actually I thank God he spared me from an accident) that no damage came to my car other than the damage of skidding 100 feet, and that I am still alive. A couple bald spots on my tire, a little out of alignment, but all in all, no worse for the ware. $235 later and my car is back in business.

So I got lucky this time. Keep an eye out on those tiny unicorns, they’ll get ya every time.

Tonight I feel ambitious
And so does my foot as it sinks on the pedal
I press it to the floor
I don’t need a girl don’t need a friend
Cause my friend lonesome’s unconditional
We’re flying forever bored
And for a moment I love everything
That I see and think and feel
I love my broken side view mirror
Cause it’s so perfect
I’m so perfect, you’re so perfect, you’re not here
I hear the change in gears

Actually my car wasn’t changing gears at all. My check engine light came on last week. I figured that since my car was still running perfectly and was not overheating that it was some simple fix. Being the responsible car owner that I am, I decided to take it to Auto Zone for a free check engine light test. Of course, they didn’t have the correct codes for this particular issue. They told me I would have to take it to a dealer to get it checked out, but that they could see that the issue was something to do with a transmission sensor. Saturday night, on my way home from work my car started running really poorly. It was constantly at 5k RPM’s when I was only doing 40mph. Then I started smelling something funny from up under the hood. “We’ve got a piper down, I repeat, the piper is DOWN!”

My pile shakes as I hit 35mph on the open road.

To make a long story short, my car is drivable again. I only had to spend $640 to make this possible. I hate car dealerships, they always bend you over. I will say this though; they were fast and very good about shuttling me around when my car was in their care. Also, my car is running better than it has in a long time. You can’t put a price tag on that. You can, however, put a price tag on a transmission solenoid sensor replacement and transmission flush, and apparently that price is $635.83.

Good thing for me I have a money tree in the back yard that I can hit up whenever it’s convenient. I should get one for my parents, since they constantly reminded me when I was a kid that they didn’t have one, especially around Christmas time. Maybe I will get them their own money tree for Christmas this year.

So now, it’s time for a cruise on the open road. I will hopefully be making my way up to Boise in the near future.

I crack a window and feel the cool air cleanse my every pore
As I pour my poor heart out
To a radio song that’s patient and willing to listen
My volume drowns it out
But that’s ok cause I sound better then him anyway any day
Yeah my voice is sweet as salt
I search for comfort and I’ve found it where I’ve found it many times before
Times before can be forgotten