This Aint a Surfin Movie

Movies are made to be a representation of real life. In my experience, it accomplishes this only by molding reality. So much of our desires and notions come from what seems to look good and work only in movies. This is especially true when it comes to romance.

I blame Disney for all the millions of disappointed women that never find their Prince Charming. I blame Cameron Crowe for allowing guys to believe it is romantic to be a stalker and stand outside some woman’s house, blasting a boom box.

All my instincts, they return
And the grand facade, so soon will burn
Without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

Peter Gabriel – In Your Eyes

This is not right.

When I turned the page
The corner bent into a perfect dog-ear
As if the words knew I’d need them again
But at that time I couldn’t see it
I would read that page everyday for the next year

In some ways, I do wish my life was more like a movie. With a DVR we can rewind to the most favorite and appealing parts of a movie. There are many aspects of my life that I wish I could experience over again. I would like to bookmark these chapters so that I could revisit them anytime I wish. When I am done reliving that moment, I can just skip ahead past the embarrassing and boring parts. Live TV is just a click away.

We sat on a shoreline
Watching wind scalp the white off the waves
Sitting on a shoreline, and if I could do it
I’d dog-ear this page

Our memories will have to do. It is one thing, though, to think back on an event, and a completely different thing to be able to experience it again. To be transported back to a moment and once again be able to see, and smell, and touch, and feel… wouldn’t that be nice? We instead have to live every moment with the depressing knowledge that we will never live it again, and that our memories will one day fail us. Instead of letting this insight bring us down, we should let it inspire us to make the most of every second of every day.

We spoke about growing old
And filling the future’s empty stage

I am comforted, however, that my life is not a movie. My script is not written. I have the ability to deviate from any cliche lines. My director has given me the freedom to move about the set.

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